Dissecting a recent conversation about what women “should” do to make men behave

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Uber drivers need good tips and ratings to thrive in their line of work — being a gifted conversationalist helps. My mother supplements her income by driving and she consistently gets five-star ratings and comments praising her conversations. However, she is careful to gauge the customer to get a feel for what they want — not everyone wants to talk.

I was in an Uber recently when the driver started chatting with me about his life. I usually get sleepy in cars and prefer to stare out the window listening to podcasts or music, but I decided to be social…


How work culture wants too much from us

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I often joke that I used to work for a cult. The truth is, I think I did work for a cult, a company cult.

My experiences got me thinking about work and why so many jobs want more than what’s required in the job description. Sometimes it seems they want our devotion, love, and personal time too.

For instance, I have friends who teach in schools. They talk about how their employers play on their desires to be good teachers but don’t really support them or allow work-life boundaries. So many teachers are burnt out.

I also have a…


Why learning about manipulation matters

Photo by veeterzy on Unsplash

When I was younger and hitting the dating scene hard, I had no clue about gaslighting. However, I had experiences where I would see something happening in a relationship, and my boyfriend (or a guy I was seeing) would tell me that I was crazy and it wasn’t happening. Yet, I would find out that I was right, leaving me to wonder why I second-guessed myself and why I was so quick to believe someone else.

Years later, I learned that gaslighting is a way of manipulating someone into second-guessing what they know to be true. This also happens in…


Why I took a survey to find out if family dynamics matter in dating, and what I learned

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

“We may have our differences, but nothing’s more important than family.” — Disney’s Coco

I recently watched the Bachelor and the Bachelorette. I’ve never been into it, but I decided to try it because I was staying with a friend and she loves the franchise. We watched a few seasons: Ali Fedotowsky, Juan Pablo, Andi Dorfman, and Clare Crawley and Tayshia Adams. You might wonder why anyone would binge that many seasons of the Bachelor franchise, and all I can say is COVID has been strange.

The shows were entertaining, but I noticed some patterns after watching a few seasons…


How being an older student can set you up for success.

Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash

How many of us are proud of how we did in school or proud of our majors?

It seems there are so many adults working outside the scope of their studies. Perhaps you know someone who has made big changes in their career towards the end of their twenties or even after. If not, I’m sure you know someone who has gone back to school or started learning new skills.

How often have you wished you could do something similar? Picture yourself in this time next year, with your newly learned skills and experience.

How much will you have grown?


How fantasy and reality can be awkward AF

Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash

What does the courting process look like these days? Texting and sending memes? What if your date is a little older? I picture long telephone calls spent giggling and getting to know each other. Either way, hopefully you’ll find yourself looking into the eyes of the person sitting across from you, getting tickled by their one-liners and wild stories.

Now imagine if the person sitting across from you was your parent.

Would you date your parents, hypothetically, of course? Can you picture yourself volunteering to spend time with them if they hadn’t spent years raising you? …


How Headlines Continue to Show it Matters

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Abuse touches almost everyone in some way. It’s sneaky and pervasive and is not limited to one gender or demographic. It can also happen in “nice” families or between “normal” couples.

Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about consent and how we talk about it in society, especially to kids and teens. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t remember being taught about consent or sexual boundaries. Sure, we knew that scary older men weren’t supposed to touch us, but sometimes that’s as far as the conversation went.

When I was 14 years old, I met a handsome 18-year-old. He…


Justifications for those of us who are attached to mask life!

Photo by Manny Becerra on Unsplash

I lived in South Korea for five years as an ESL teacher. In my first week, one of my 6th graders came in wearing a mask.

“Oh! Are you okay? What happened?”

I saw my Korean co-teacher look at me a little perplexed and she waited for the girl to respond.

“Oh, maybe I’m sick today.”

I was shocked. I thought we were dealing with a life-or-death illness and this girl’s parents were forcing her to attend English academy while she was deathly sick!

OMG, how awful! Who are these parents and why would they do this?! For English?!

I…


A personal essay on discovery, identity, and reconnection

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

When I was five-years-old, my mother caught me casting spells in my room. I had made an altar on top of a wooden chest filled with toys. My altar had fake flowers, a chattering teeth toy, and the Bible. “Don’t use the Bible!” my mother warned, taking it away and offering me a storybook instead. “But it matches my altar,” I cried. Although she wasn’t religious, she had grown up in the church and was wary of allowing a religious text to be a spellbook. …


How constantly dreaming of an ex might not be the soul link we think it is

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

How often do you dream about your exes? Are the dreams sweet or steamy? Or do these random visits leave you feeling uneasy and thankful you’ve moved on?

In my case, I dream about one of my exes all the time. I’ve been dreaming about him for over ten years. No, he wasn’t my first boyfriend or sexual partner, and I’ve had other relationships after him, but none have made it into my subconscious the way this one has.

For years, I thought this was a soul link.

Some people think when we are intimate with our partners, we connect…

Rebecca Eloisa

Writer who loves learning and sharing! Passionate about lifelong learning, society, and culture. Insta: @rarroo

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store